Spinning

havent blogged much these past few days..
its been to boring..
but I've been able to think some things through..
so my mind is now clear as crystal..
i can figure out why i did it...
but sometimes i cant help but wonder what wld happen if i did things differently at that time..
If I had did something another way..
i cant help but wonder..
there are things that i regret..
and some that I am proud of..
and somethings I just cant get through..
I'm still wondering why my heart which was supposed to be as hard as diamond..
shattered into a million pieces this year..
really dunno...
Sometimes I just wish I could just crush all my emotions and not use them at all..
especially the strongest 1 Love..
unfortunately i cant do that so will just hv to try and survive with these emotions..
heh..
somehow thinking all these things through really calmed me down a lot..
crap I need to cheer up...
or else I'm just gonna drown in the shadows again.
which is something I don't really want..
its not fun..
and LOUD is round the corner..
seriously gonna be fun..
anyone wanna come? haha